Another night

Somewhere in Scotland, i sit by my window open at 3AM, just now thought where i am going at this moment. My friend is sleeping over at the moment and my life is not that exciting, vulnerable to some human being, i must say. As much i like to believe i should go on with what i have started a strange feeling pulling me back saying i should rather not instead, it should be evil. The distance is apparently a big factor or i am just dreaming, what is not to be worked out is not supposed to be pursued. This all sorted, hoping to be present at some other place where i don't belong is just too much to think about, some other time. Friendship and love gives me a headache to an extent where i cant be myself shutting down whats not good for me at the moment. I think this life is good enough to be yourself, to make a good example out of your own. Love wont wont work, it just makes you worse, it would come to a full circle someday.