Taxi Driver

Ride # 1

The eyes glowing so like a bulb, I feel weak and the body a little numb. I say this at the brink of my heart pounding out of my fucking mouth. I make sense of myself, being in place of others makes more sense than a little while guilt and pride strikes you all along.

I now walk in the brazen, cold wind, what if I wasn’t there too often.That would be right, but was enough to drive the pleasure out of it for while. It was a way out of the blank

I sat there with 3 more- Amit, Shubham and Rohit – the partners in drive joined by out Treasurer Mr. Guard, passing up the grass. I waited there on the edge of chair for the trip to start the rip. I lit it on a point of a light. The trip started with me in the driving seat. The taxi is a test of to hold on the ecstasy of trip while it move a full circle, then you can pass up the urgency of lungs to breath. You puff on and on wanting more than before, pulling up the hunches. The smoke passes up though the nerves liberating the tied soul .In a moment a myriad of curiosity passed before my eyes.

The rush of blood to my head shoots a bit.

That’s what I was craving for long to loosen my buttons. That was awesome. We had this going for a rough 30minutes and then took a break. Shubham laughed his wits out even out seemingly straight stuff. We all let it go a bit more .Someone pulled the last one and let it drop.

Lights out!

The reasons

I am on the edge of my bed, its 3 am in the morning I woke up halfway through with my sleep I can’t sleep. The reason I don’t dare to know. I am overcome with intensity of hurt crushing me narrowly in silence of the night. After all it’s a collective thought / feeling. There are only few people around that makes it a point to feel lonely about something’s and brood about it later on, as I did for myself. It’s a vicious circle, that old feeling of guilt kicking in and walking alone.
Finally I can figure out the things that happened to me in time around, it’s all the part of providence and life, doing all bits to teach lessons.
Awake when half the world is asleep, no one stands beside me .I am just through with a meaningless drive – after an illicit walkout into a person, equally harmless in routine. Control of nerves was what I learned and how to put too much of my face in there, jokes apart. Sex is sex, after all.
Closely chasing onto absurdity of details of events, people some of the truth began to tumble out, emanating righteously. I saw through lies and phoniness of my friends. The most annoying details I saw in this all was snobbery people resort to in time of face off with themselves as if they can’t take what they stand for.
There are no claims like “I am your best friends” and so on or someone coming over to me with all his/her heart poured out to me about anything at all. I just fear myself dead in the wake of the day when I think about the friends I chose to be my friends. I wish I can come back and remove some from my life. Thank god life offers you with no second chances.
The usual reference to the friendship so far has been a couple of names, because I never felt such paucity of a real person called friend even before followed by all what I am.
I look at this in another way the sooner the better, situations reveal man to him. So have I taken a leap in this quest it’s yet to be seen?
I feel handicapped when it comes to judging people they have their own pretensions disguised as particular attitude towards specific things. Just like a person who knows she doesn’t love you and hangs on to you pretending to do the same.
It’s face of death, like strangling someone to death on a comfy bed. Why everyone is so busy pretending to be what he she is not and in turn losing what one stands for.
It’s their own free will to chose and they chose to be losers. I can’t help it.
Loss of something brings something back to you, in the turn of events.