In the wake of a dead nervous system, things getting chaotic to the sorts of being ugly. Resorting to the anarchaic shot of herbs was never so stimulating ever before. Food pipe thinning against jarring smell of misleading smoke. Suddenly swarming smoke that hang in ground above my nostrils revolting yet captivating in neurotic appeal that lifts me up from the ground, a surface of reality to hook me upon relinquishing silence where my fan is fiercly whirling to fracture and phone tip toeing, barely 8 inches away from my tip toeing pen. the only savious i am left with. Differential letter and shapes i seem to scribble and keep on scriblling.
Moon never seemed so closer and everything seems utterely chaotic.such is the fear of being chaotic as if its not right thing to be and being forthright is not pretending. I wish i never stop but that blinking notorious phone takes my mind away from it.
Right i am back at it again, screw it, where am i. okay, got it i am at my desk, wondering if i ever left.wondering at what my hands are being subjected to, go on write more.
No way its not.
I win back.
Still..frozen, my hands stammering mildly at nods to acknowledge the situation. While moon pops on blankspot on my my eyes.Suddenly shinig out of visible happiness. but i guess its not, i doubt if it has ever been like that. No wonder i see it smiling on my face, simple smile. Whaoo its such an obstrusive kistch.I am taking it a bit closer and it seems to make faces at me.
Still all alone wrapped in apolythiene of solitude. I see it clear a kind of a sharp rancour traps me for being it competitor on somedays. Certailnly one of the closest. Such as distrust and parody of my eternal melody that reigns supreme. I keep on forgetting my song. My flight seems all to take off far into promising vacuum- Just as it zips me across noise. Suddenly discordant noise and peace seperates from me and primary element takes over clustered into parcelain sheets all sliced into whites.Strange i dont see any pain, yet chaotic all over.
Peace out!
Eyes are staring hard at my letters on shapes and sizes it forms as if judging them. They are open and rested from moving, just as everything else is shouting at me verily to distract.
The views inside me shutting out rather too quickly as in hurry.Complaining of mild whirlpool my stomach shoots pain rather liberating, through eyes.
"ts so fucking a description about my body or something else..."I ask myself.
My thoughts are swaying outwards, freezing zero. What a terrible idea of winning hearts, if it helps, damn it be. I am sitting for a good 30 minutes and still i am glued to. What happened to me????
At this point all i care about is some misguided feeling trapped inside through thickness of my blood. Firmness of muscles suddenly made me realise i am sitting on ground beneath the wall shack into the wreck of my hostel roof and with me is breeze that is looking on me with love and watch me rise with it swaying on prnciples of harmonics.
Its only sometimes when i feel so strangely happy, non plussed by awkwardness of this word with myself. Whats on the outside of such feeling is that it is short lived, that we cant enjoy it for long, too much of this maks no sense. Instead being something in moderation makes one look on both the aspects with a sideway gaze to gauge it without contempt for any of these.
I have think for myself conciously, i want to be like this, everything seems to lose its meaning, my apologetic eyes sees me going through the heaps of uncultivated lies a manifestation of which is this weight of the heavy world.Starry-eyed dreams of unwaranted reality.
Before my eyes , lay a white sheet of ocean blanketed by surreality so thick it gets my vision no where.everything is bleak. That is slightly thinned by our struggle, throughout the history.
Sometimes i feel like being left alone inside a room locked , so i cant see other people not for the sake of some evasion but for the matter of shielding myself of screaming apathy around myself. I am unmoved.
I have no right to write all this that concerns no one for i am too fragile inside to be offended, save for some exceptions.
Moon never seemed so closer and everything seems utterely chaotic.such is the fear of being chaotic as if its not right thing to be and being forthright is not pretending. I wish i never stop but that blinking notorious phone takes my mind away from it.
Right i am back at it again, screw it, where am i. okay, got it i am at my desk, wondering if i ever left.wondering at what my hands are being subjected to, go on write more.
No way its not.
I win back.
Still..frozen, my hands stammering mildly at nods to acknowledge the situation. While moon pops on blankspot on my my eyes.Suddenly shinig out of visible happiness. but i guess its not, i doubt if it has ever been like that. No wonder i see it smiling on my face, simple smile. Whaoo its such an obstrusive kistch.I am taking it a bit closer and it seems to make faces at me.
Still all alone wrapped in apolythiene of solitude. I see it clear a kind of a sharp rancour traps me for being it competitor on somedays. Certailnly one of the closest. Such as distrust and parody of my eternal melody that reigns supreme. I keep on forgetting my song. My flight seems all to take off far into promising vacuum- Just as it zips me across noise. Suddenly discordant noise and peace seperates from me and primary element takes over clustered into parcelain sheets all sliced into whites.Strange i dont see any pain, yet chaotic all over.
Peace out!
Eyes are staring hard at my letters on shapes and sizes it forms as if judging them. They are open and rested from moving, just as everything else is shouting at me verily to distract.
The views inside me shutting out rather too quickly as in hurry.Complaining of mild whirlpool my stomach shoots pain rather liberating, through eyes.
"ts so fucking a description about my body or something else..."I ask myself.
My thoughts are swaying outwards, freezing zero. What a terrible idea of winning hearts, if it helps, damn it be. I am sitting for a good 30 minutes and still i am glued to. What happened to me????
At this point all i care about is some misguided feeling trapped inside through thickness of my blood. Firmness of muscles suddenly made me realise i am sitting on ground beneath the wall shack into the wreck of my hostel roof and with me is breeze that is looking on me with love and watch me rise with it swaying on prnciples of harmonics.
Its only sometimes when i feel so strangely happy, non plussed by awkwardness of this word with myself. Whats on the outside of such feeling is that it is short lived, that we cant enjoy it for long, too much of this maks no sense. Instead being something in moderation makes one look on both the aspects with a sideway gaze to gauge it without contempt for any of these.
I have think for myself conciously, i want to be like this, everything seems to lose its meaning, my apologetic eyes sees me going through the heaps of uncultivated lies a manifestation of which is this weight of the heavy world.Starry-eyed dreams of unwaranted reality.
Before my eyes , lay a white sheet of ocean blanketed by surreality so thick it gets my vision no where.everything is bleak. That is slightly thinned by our struggle, throughout the history.
Sometimes i feel like being left alone inside a room locked , so i cant see other people not for the sake of some evasion but for the matter of shielding myself of screaming apathy around myself. I am unmoved.
I have no right to write all this that concerns no one for i am too fragile inside to be offended, save for some exceptions.
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