Sleepless in cold Scotland

Its been more than 5 days that i have literally lost track of days counting back only when challenged, of course as a part of the little sane conversations i am left with. The wind has piled on misery out here and when we thought it wouldn't be as bad snow this time, it turned out to be dampness and crazy wind. The joys of living around here. Having, that said the sleep disorder i am faced with tends to have no solution as to even going to bed doesn't even help without me finding myself indulged in some extravagance. It is said that the disturbing sleep patterns among people are generally related to stress and pain which is predecessor of chronic problems such as psychiatric disorders and life related problems..poor health, unemployment etc. However, the absolute science on the sleeping brain cant be dismissed as merely as mentioning the psychiatric category of the problem especially focusing too much on the depression part. The picture is not complete without the complete understanding of the psychology and life that has turned so mechanical and detached. The factors most worrying to sleep problem is lack of quantitative aspect of cause which of course would regress the attention to cure it.

The weather is depressing and the ever worrying economic conditions in this part of the world has somewhat the leading effect on the way i conduct myself daily from time i wake up to the time i cant sleep and the cycle never breaks. Stress is slowly building up in the process of making things better and realizing the time we all have is but limited. The capricious melody of ocean beneath kindly leads my mind away from consciousness, the bolder and mellower it is the better it gets.

With every possible bad thing comes a ray of good which tells me that if this condition is just not that bad as it could be and i am still doing better out of it. Being alive at 5AM is the hardest when world is sleeping and this is why silence knows all my secrets. I have always thought people who could just lay and sleep like that have a mind clean as a sheet without much further dwelling i was told of being over thinking and this of course has something to do with the way i think about those people. The chaos capable of raising anything in the way couldn't always sleep like the numb darts which are doubtful of striking the point.

Another night

Somewhere in Scotland, i sit by my window open at 3AM, just now thought where i am going at this moment. My friend is sleeping over at the moment and my life is not that exciting, vulnerable to some human being, i must say. As much i like to believe i should go on with what i have started a strange feeling pulling me back saying i should rather not instead, it should be evil. The distance is apparently a big factor or i am just dreaming, what is not to be worked out is not supposed to be pursued. This all sorted, hoping to be present at some other place where i don't belong is just too much to think about, some other time. Friendship and love gives me a headache to an extent where i cant be myself shutting down whats not good for me at the moment. I think this life is good enough to be yourself, to make a good example out of your own. Love wont wont work, it just makes you worse, it would come to a full circle someday.

TILL THE LAST DROP

Till the last drop of paint draws
The brushes won’t cross the line
Of hope and despair
The curvy innocence draws red
Still fresh, your smile dwells souls

A full stop for rest over
You are creek to jump into
The point on a circle called life
Bright strokes lit you alive
Setting forth a random array

No one tell what till you see the other side
Loose flakes fall from the sky
Struggling to form a life
Grey eyes covering the haze
Battered hands go up in sky
Folded in sigh

Hope against hope is yet to come
A season of cold is in full swing
Fallen leaves tranquilizes the streets
Crushed under the feet
Forays into a life of itself
Peachy with spots all over

Evolved is new time of the life
The perception never fades
Till the last drop of blood draws.